This Sunday Tyson and i decided to visit a new church. We have been going to one near the house off and one for nearly a year. The only complaint we had was the age population. There wasnt really anyone our age there at all. As nice as it is to be surrounded by grandparents we decided to stomp out younger ground.

We tried a nice Assembly of God church about 15 minutes from the house. I saw a gaggle of young children and asked if kids church was here, a child answered me 'yes'. I looked for an adult, and really couldn't find any. I eventually saw a teenager that looked painfully like he was trying to be in charge. I asked where i register my son at, he asked someone next to him the same question and responded "we dont register anymore", alright. So i found another child that looked close to Noah's age, i asked him what his name was and he told me Brandon, i asked him if he would be Noah's friend because he was new and didn't know anyone, responded with a yes. At that i left my only child in a new kids church program with no registration and i cringed as i walked away.

Tyson, my friend Alex and myself walked into the huge sanctuary. We found seats in the back because that is where all the sinners and backsliders sit, we fir right in. We had only been sitting for a few minutes when i decided i needed to go check on Noah (yes im one of those moms), I went back into the kids church room, he looked like he was having fun, i found another worker, i pointed towards my son and i said "that is my son Noah, he is new here today and only five, remember my face, i am his mother, if he breaks his arm i will be in the back row in the sanctuary, im only telling you this because there is no registration or way to find me if he needs me", i think i scared the worker but i felt better. I walked back into church and sat down.

Worship began in the typical pentecostal way, girls from the youth group on stage doing a choreographed dance, flag wavers and tambourine's going at it. I did my best to keep my sarcasm at bay until it was time to be seated. The pastor then introduced the special singers for the offertory, a accapella group called 'Tender Heart' , i really thought one of the care bears were going to come out and entertain us, but alas i was wrong, it was just the worship pastor and his brother and sister.

Eventually the Pastor stepped up to deliver the message, i believe Tyson and i left only fifteen minutes into the sermon. I never imagined Jesus, back in his day as red, sweaty and slightly angry. There was a reason i believe he stayed on the outside of the temple for the most part.
I know i sound critical even in posting this this but i have to believe there is a place of worship somewhere that doesn't involve masks, shows and judgment. Some of the things that were being preached from the pulpit that day had to do with drinking one sip of beer was a sin (not biblical), Missing church once was a sin (not biblical). He also went on a rant about how he remembers when alcoholics weren't called so but were called 'drunks', and that it is a sin not a disease. I understander having detest for a sin but those words came across as the most callous thing out of his mouth and it made me think, "where is the love", people who drink do so for a reason, i should know, so instead of being hateful towards them for what they do wrong why don't we love then enough to find out why they feel the need to.

I will sound like a hippie in saying this but i believe in the religion of love, the movement of love. Looking past whatever 'horrible', 'detestable', thing these 'sinners' are doing and love them. Because honestly i am not any different or better than them and i wont buy into the lie that i am some how superior or have all of the answers, because i don't.

And that is why at times it seems that Christianity (at least in modern American churches) seems to be going the way of the dinosaurs, no one wants to join a social club full of mask wearing hypocrites. Its a contest of who can lie better, whose mask looks more legit.

I refuse to wear one, i did for awhile, but learned there is no quick fix, and behind the mask we are just as hurting and flawed as the rest of the world, the only difference is we have a hope. We aren't totally lost in our despair, but that still doesn't mean we know ALL of the answers, i will never pretend